These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had to face the torments of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
My dear friend Vimal send me these hilarious goodies, i just cant get over it; so i thought i'll share it online
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't
know about it until the next morning?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: She had three children, right?
Q: How many were boys?
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Q: And these stairs, did they go up! also?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
Q: Did you check for breathing?
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law